This dress was meant to end up on your floor
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
