Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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