Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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