I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
