woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
