ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
