just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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