yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
where does the pee come out of this thing
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
