I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
