dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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