i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
