This gyro tastes like lonliness
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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