unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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