It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize