found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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