i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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