Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
