she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
