Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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