I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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