FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize