My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
