party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize