Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Its about making memories worth repressing
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
