You just made me feel so damn special
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
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