then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
