i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
