I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
