I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I just googled if crying burns calories
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
