Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
vagina is talking i cant
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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