Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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