im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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