no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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