This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
