I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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