just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
