so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Randomize
