you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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