dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Randomize
