after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Walk of Shame today included voting.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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