Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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