Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
