i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
