Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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