Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
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