Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
