whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
