dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
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