I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Randomize
