There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
