Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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