So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
