the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
