some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
The Olympian is in my bed
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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