google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
