She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
