How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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