Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
