How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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