Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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