Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
