Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
