My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Randomize
