so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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