i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
