My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I pour the whiskey from now on
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
